We attend stand up comedy sessions, watch presenters deliver amazing presentations, and we love public speaking. Here in this blog we bring to you 38 one-liners you can use to spark up your presentation.
Check out the following for amazing one liners and rock your next presentation!
28 common one liners used by presenters:
- (during your introduction – 1) Whoever said nothing is impossible is a liar. I’ve been doing nothing for years.
- (during your introduction – 2) I really lack the words to compliment myself today.
- (during your introduction – 3) Don’t underestimate me, that’s my mother’s job.
- (during your introduction – 4) I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect
- (during your introduction – 5) At the very start, let me say that we both have something in common. You don’t know what I’m going to say… and neither do I.
- (when you make a mistake on stage – 1) You are not completely useless you can always serve as a bad example.
- (when you make a mistake on stage – 2) It’s good to learn from other’s mistakes, I wish people learn something from me.
- (when you make a mistake on stage – 3)The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
- (when you make a mistake on stage – 3) I’ve only been wrong once, and that’s when I thought I was wrong.
- (when you find someone yawning or sleeping) Regular naps prevent old age, especially if you take them while driving.
- (when you are late) Sorry, I’m late. I got here as soon as I felt like it.
- (when you are trying to solve a problem in a training session) You know God gave us brain to work out our problems. However we used it to create more!
- (asking participants to go beyond their comfort zone) Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push.
- (motivating participants to put in more efforts) Whatever you do always give 100 %. Unless you are donating blood.
- (murmur something on the mic and use this one liner to get attention) Don’t be afraid to talk to yourself. It’s the only way you can be sure somebody’s listening.
- (when you make a mistake and your participants suffer as a result) I think they picked me for my motivational skills. Everyone always says they have to work twice as hard when I’m around!
- (when you want participants to remain positive and upbeat about a challenge – 1) “I ran a half marathon” sounds so much better than “I quit halfway through a marathon”.
- (when you want participants to remain positive and upbeat about a challenge – 2)Don’t be nervous if someone is driving ahead of you- the world is round, just think that you’re driving first!
- (when you want participants to remain positive and upbeat about a challenge – 3)If You weigh 200 pounds on the Earth it is only 76 pounds on the Mars, and it means You are not fat but you are just on the wrong planet.
- (when you want participants to remain positive and upbeat about a challenge – 4) I got called pretty yesterday and it felt good! Actually, the full sentence was “You’re pretty annoying.” but I’m choosing to focus on the positive.
- (when you want participants to remain positive and upbeat about a challenge – 5) Worrying works! 90%of the thing I worry about never happens.
- (when you want participants to remain positive and upbeat about a challenge – 6) Everything you do you’re going to regret. But if you do nothing – you will not only regret but will also suffer.
- (a puzzle to kill sometime) Imagine that you are in the forest where there is a tiger in front of you right about to eat you. What do you do? Ans: U stop imagining…
- (post lunch session) They say you are what you eat. That’s funny, I don’t remember eating a sexy beast this morning.
- (if participants are worried and you wish to lighten the atmosphere)
- (if a participant complains of lack of resources) However lonely you feel, you’re never alone. There are literally millions of bugs, mites and bacteria living in your house.
- (ending your presentation – 1) Friends, you’ve no idea how it feels to come to the end of another brilliantly written and impeccably delivered speech. Unfortunately… neither have I.
- (ending your presentation – 2) Friends, there are two types of speaker I can do without: those who never stop to think and those who never think to stop. I sincerely hope I haven’t been either. Thank you!
4 one liners to be used at your own risk:
- Whenever someone calls me ugly, I get super sad and hug them, because I know how tough life is for the visually impaired!
- Light travels faster than sound. That’s why certain people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- The grass is always greener on the other side because it is fertilized with bullshit.
- 100,000 sperm and you were the fastest!
Challenge for you: In what situations will you use the following one-liners?
- Five Secrets of Successful People: 1. Don’t 2. Tell 3. Anyone 4. Your 5. Secrets
- (during a cocktail party) Tequila is a good drink: you drink it and you feel like a cactus; the only problem is that in the morning the thorns grow inward.
- If someone is spitting behind you, it means you’re in front
- Tomorrow: The best labor saving device of today.
- The Best way to get back on your feet is to miss a couple of car payments!
- I love my six packs so much that I have protected it with layers of fat
- Designing a presentation without an audience in mind is like writing a love letter and addressing it: To Whom It May Concern.
Happy presenting! Share your favourite One-Liner in the comments section below –
7 thoughts on “32 Funny One-liners to Spark your Presentation”
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